By circusofhumanity

Short, Sassy, Redhead…seeking inner peace, world peace, entertainment, mad circus skills, six pack abs, financial freedom, therapeutic massage and freaks and geeks.  Chocolate helps too.

For more detail about the birth of Circus of Humanity, refer to 1st written blog post here:

Blah Blah Blog… (http://circusofhumanity.com/2012/04/18/blah-blah-blog/)

Posted: 04/18/2012 in Uncategorized 

I’m not sure the proper way to begin the journey to Blogdom or how long this journey will last, but I guess it’s better late than never to this venue.  Really, it doesn’t make much sense why I haven’t done this before since I grew up loving to read and write (loved writing poetry inspired by my heartbreaking male crushes- frequently gay, until I began getting critiqued on my work in college).  Speaking of crushes, this first number was inspired by the book …Crush It by Gary Vaynerchuk, but I’ll get back to that in a minute.  So far, I’m not sure I got anything out of college besides the degree…maybe learning how to share a room (since I lived in the dorm in college and grew up an only child)…maybe a husband (Kyle and I met online through Match.com and his search radius was 5 miles and shehad to have a college degree).  I pretty much went to college to please my parents.  It took me 5 years and 3 schools to finally decide to graduate.  There was nothing I wanted to do or be when I grew up…nothing I had real passion for…except one thing.  From the time I was really young, I wanted to be an actress.  I did Children’s Theatre and various small things growing up (including a very exciting one time extra roll on Boy Meet’s World for all of you who remember TGIF television in your preteen years).  At college #1, I majored in Drama, of course!  But, that led me to become pretty convinced that I had the passion but not the talent for the art.  Crap.

What do I do now?  Drop out of school, of course and struggle with depression, something I had been familiar with off and on since at least sophomore year of high school…

I definitely think my depression is mainly chemical resulting from a genetic or biological lack of complete functioning of some part of my brain.  Pharmaceuticals have worked wonders for me in this department!  But, I think it also has to do with my perfectionistic nature and the fact that I’m just a little weird, or at least that I’ve always thought I’m weird and have had a hard time accepting myself.  I have red hair, brown eyes, freckles, was always nearly the shortest in my class (today I measure in at 5 feet tall after my recent ½ inch growth spurt in the past couple years around the age of 30). I wore glasses growing up (after going cross-eyed and having surgery to straighten out my eyes), have struggled with my weight on the chubby side (later venturing to other extremes).  I happen to be left-handed too.  I love to sing and dance but am not great at either.  I enjoy mimicking noises which I find funny.  I have wide feet, but narrow heels (something I refer to as pizza feet because they remind me of the triangular shape of a slice of pizza) and have difficulty finding comfortable shoes.  I’ve been generally well-endowed size-wise in the mammary and booty department and have always hated the activity of running, partially due to this and to asthma which put me into the hospital in 7th grade.  The boobs and booty have also led to a general dislike of clothes shopping for most of my life, as well because at 4’11 ½, even “short” length is too long and if it fits in the booty it’s too big in the waist with a similar same problem in the top/bust department.

So why have I told you all these strange things -AND-  isn’t this turning into something nobody wants to hear about (the reason I’ve resisted blogging)?  Well, I sat down to read the Crush It book tonight (read three short chapters) and was completely flooded with insomnia-inducing ideas (I love alliteration) which led to a brain storm of notes on my iphone and now a page of type on a screen since I couldn’t get the hamsters in my brain to get off the wheel.  It hit me that I might still be able to connect to my passion, perhaps even profit from it since there is nothing else I can see myself doing at a desk for someone else every day (my other passion is learning about financial freedom and passive cashflow).  But, why the circus theme?  I guess because my latest/newest hobby is what I refer to as circus school and also because life is really just one big circus of humanity filled with the bizarre, interesting, and quirky.  We can enjoy the show (because it must go on) or be afraid of the clowns and hide…

Did I mention that when my preschool teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was “a clown”?

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